Here I am with another page in Kunal's diary..or how I see Kunal's position
Galat logon par vishwas karke
aise chakravyuh mein fans gaya hoon
ki apno aur garon mein farak nahi kar paa raha hoon
aurat ke naam par itna hasin dhokha khaya
ki apne sache pyar ko samajh nahi paa raha hoon
dikhawe ka rishta nibhate nibhate apni asal pehchan hi bhool gaya hoon
dikhawa karte karte, kab begane apne ho gaye jana nahi
aur aaj unhi apno ko begana karne chala
ab chahkar bhi un jhoothe rishto se muh nahi mod paa raha hoon
dimaag yahi keh raha hai ki apne begaane ban gaye hai
magar dil shayad yeh maan nahi raha hai
khud se itna rooth gaya hoon ki ab apno se hi door jane laga hoon
itna chal kiya hai apno ne pyar ke naam par (richa/raveena ne) ki ab doosron ke sache pyaar par yakeen nahi raha
kal tak jispar aankhen band kar ke bhi bharosa karta tha, aaj unki daleelon par bhi yakeen nahi raha
dil aur dimag mein kisi jung chid gayee hai ki
ab aisa koi gunah na ho jaye anjane mein ki jiski maanfi bhi na ho.
Today was Kunal all the way,
His conversation with Siddhi- It hurt him that she didnt trust him, he questions her, that did you trust me ever, if you did you wouldn't have come to the hotel, and if you did why didnt you tell me about it. His privacy matters a lot to him, he said, the whole world now knows what happened in our bedroom. Glad to see that he respects his relationship with her..to the outside world he is still her husband and would defend her every time. But within, he was shattered that she didnt trust him. I couldnt understand his dialogue on that when I was lying drunk my wife had seen me- was he expecting her to do something? I missed an important point here initially- he tells her why should i trust you, you dont even have any feelings for me..So has Siddhi's kunal realised or is on the path of realising that only if you love someone you trust him/her ?
He was so glad to see Shilpa, it was like a breath of fresh air..it appeared to him that at this time, if there is one person who loves him in this world it is Shilpa only. He was just soo happy with the love and affection she showered on him. Poor guy is so messed up emotionally he just doesnt know who should he trust any more, its like once burned, always careful kinds.
And Raj when he said you are not bound..I felt sad for Kunal (he is at fault, but it appears, Kunal is more a misguided man, he is so lost he doesnt know whom to trust and who are his real wellwishers..)Kunal my dear, you are no longer bound in a relationship, all that you did was not out of duty but love..so his was a case where everyone has now released him from the so called samjhota express, but he is now tied lock stock and barrel to the samjhota express and cant let go. Inspite of being so much pained and stressed and humiliated-- he couldnt see Shilpa sad- he had to go and he did.
His brain said that Siddhi is the reason for his downfall but his heart/mind couldn't forget her past good deeds, so it is tussel for him right now.
Here is positivity dose 
Aaj maine keh to diya ki mujhe tum par vishwas nahi hai
magar shayad mein khud bhi jaanta hoon ki tum mujhe dhoka nahi de sakti hoo
kaise tumharee beeti baatein bhula doon,
main apne hisse ki imaandaari nibha raha hoon
aur main janta hoon, waqt padne par tum bhi use nibhaogi
[In this post I am not looking to justify his behaviour..lot of ppl can ask that didn't he realise that she would have seen something that day in the hotel..else why would she say etc etc...And also that later where was the chance to ever discuss it. I am just portraying his feelings today.]
(all you kunal lovers..should see the episode today, i did read that quite a few people didn't like the episode today, but I think Kunal, rather Sameer was brilliant today, I felt more sad for him today then in the court)
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